4. MESSAGES FROM JESUS / GOD WANTS US ALL / HIS CHOICE FOR ME

     2 PETER 3:9  The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.  Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."  God wants us all my friends but it's our choice.  It would be easy for everyone to obey Him if they were getting the feedback I am but many aren't really sure about their faith, they have a token belief and want their fire insurance just in case, but probably aren't paying the premiums.  Jesus tells us few will make it in.  I've heard the idea that we all get to heaven but I don't see any scripture supporting it.
     Mama tells me that we shouldn't be cremated because it will make us as if we never were, death with nothingness, I was looking for for several years.  She's trying to get me some support for this.  I've seen some hints at it myself, need to study this sometime.  I asked her what about people who are accidentally burned to death and she had a good reply, "It would have been God's will for that to happen."  Maybe those who weren't too bad get this death.  For some time I felt I was in violation of HEBREWS 6: 4 - 6, having been baptized in the Spirit and "moved among" some of the gifts, then fallen away and lived in sin with a woman.  During my trial, I prayed earnestly for this death with nothingness but it seems Jesus had something for me to do yet.  There's a bit more after solving the lie and delusion, he has for me, I don't know what, just trying to follow his leading.  It's hard for me not to charge ahead of him though.
     There were some mitigating circumstances in my sin and I think God will weigh all those, the same for those who are abused as children or adults and develop demonic strongholds in their innocence leading to behavior as adults they aren't in control of.  Sometimes forgiveness is extremely difficult to make happen, and like my partner in sin, we may develop strong connections with God, but still behave badly.  I was in this category for much of my life. Those who develop strongholds from ongoing willful, sinful behavior have no excuse though.

     About my messages, Jesus told me early on to keep my personal messages personal, not to share them with the community.  I've violated that but feel it gives credibility to my experience with him in sharing these and may convince some of his existence. Knowing He and God want as many of us as they can get, I think he'll overlook my transgressions.  I hope so anyway.
     He's been getting long messages to me vs. the single sentences I used to see with word of knowledge.  I'll share one that puzzled me for a while:  "We partake of food when we share it with others.  We partake of plaesure when we enjoy it with others.  We partake of spoils of war when they are divided between us and others."
     I understood the first 2 right away and am all for that.  I have a few friends but lead a lonely life for the most part and just made several enemies, hopefully they'll become friends once the news that I may have saved their souls sinks in.  It's hard for a single guy to get into some groups, My first wife and I both experienced that after our divorce.
     As events unfolded I understood what he meant by spoils of war.  I'm a big player in a war against satan and have some spoils coming.  I've already asked Mama to take the responsibility of looking over the blog and figuring a way to share with all those who've contributed.  My last companion gets a share for her counseling sessions with the Holy Spirit.  I just tried to bribe her into being more available for counseling with Jesus by letting her know the larger presence I give her in the blog, the more she'll be entitled to.  I want to ask her what I'm supposed to be doing to find my wife.
     I'm a type A person, want to get the job done right and quickly.  For instance I'd barged into that baptist church before I got the warning message from Mama.  Fortunately the pastor was busy.  I think Jesus may have had something to do with that.  I might be the one going insane now if I'd talked with him.  I have trouble taking Friend Ian's advice and letting the Holy Spirit lead.  I want my wife and I want her now.  I made the breakthrough, where is she?
     Some things just take time.  The beautiful widow who seemed to be the only possibility may not be God's choice for me, my evidence may have been my imagination, helpful figuring things out but not so good in personal situations.  I'd asked a mutual friend to put me on her list for the time she took her wedding ring off but she's gotten another involvement going.  That message might not have gotten through or she may have no interest in me but we made eye contact through the crowd at the airshow and now I know she hadn't gotten my email.  There's a certain unknown woman out there I almost proposed to by sending my email to the wrong person with info. about the Star of David.  At the airshow I was thinking my "hoped for" might be leery of me but there must be some mutual attraction.  I'd already started falling for her, but she may not be God's choice.  Her first name is Jewish, she has aquiline features that seem similar to some europeans.
     At present I'm wondering whether I wait, she just went out of town on a family emergency, or forget her as a possibility, do I start going to churches in Hiawassee, should I start dating, knowing there's one woman out there "waiting for me," or the toughest for me, just do my work, and wait on Jesus's timing.  I'm not in a 2 way dialogue with Jesus yet, Chris, my last companion is at anytime with her 3 gifts, tongues, interpreting them and prophecy, though Jesus is usually evasive about future events.  I wish he'd just tell me.  He gets specific when scolding me but normally not about the future.
     I've mulled over the propriety of my sharing so much personal business with the world and I think Jesus wants me to do it.  He'll let me know if he doesn't.  This started out as part personal journal but I think Jesus wants it known that we can get very close to him while being fairly normal people, (I won't make the claim to being perfectly normal).  Jesus is happy to come to us wherever we may be, deep in sin, struggling with addictions, there's no place we may be where he won't come to us.  He wants us to work on our problems and sin, make an ongoing effort to improve.  Some of us may never get healing but we're to try.  If we accept Jesus and go on deliberately sinning, we'll be condemned as is clear in HEBREWS 10:26.  Along theser lines, many promises are made with "SEEKING).  They don't say you  have to find him, that can be very difficult but seek him, try not to sin, love each other, that's easy and covers a multitude of sin.
     I still struggle with the occasional desire to buy a six pack, seek out a bit of weed.  The beer at the air show a couple nights ago was tempting.  I made it a few days without a cigarette thinking I was about to meet my future wife but she's disappeared again so I just bought a pack.  I'm very anxious about marital benefits too.  I'd like to remind Jesus here what happens to satan's henchmen, catholic priests, after long periods of abstinence.
     Are an abnormally high percentage of homosexual pedophiles drawn into the priesthood or do they get that way from serving satan's sex goddess, the Queen of Heaven, Semiramis?  I once read where the pope prayed to "the mother of god."  That would be Semiramis under the shallow guise of Mary, supposedly a lifelong virgin.  I don't think Joseph would have been too happy with that.  We know of 3 brothers of Jesus and at least 2 sisters.  how do they explain the book of James and Jude? Catholics aren't going to enjoy their eternities.  If you know any, show them this blog please.  Jesus would really like to bring them into heaven.

In his service, a Misfit Child of God