9. MY PREPARATION / BEING MADE WHOLE

Note to reader, I had to darken a couple postings, that's why the numbers aren't in sequence.  My behind the scenes people thought I was sharing too much info. at this stage.  We're in end days now and as events progress  I may be able to light up again sometime in the future.

     Throughout my search for the breakthrough, I kept wondering, "Why me?"  On reflection I think I have the answers.
     As an innocent adolescent, I experienced my own very mild, gentle crucifixion from my father.  I say mild and gentle only in comparison to what Jesus suffered for us.  The experience was excruciatingly painful for me physically and quite traumatic emotionally as well from my father's treatment of me.  (See details in 13. CAN'T HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT AND A DEMON?).  I was literally hung from a tree briefly, (Cursed is he who hangs from a tree.),  given a glimpse of what Jesus suffered from this experience.  I've suffered much in this life and have tremendous compassion for others who are suffering, often being brought to tears by their circumstances but I'll be bold and give my life for God if He asks me too.
     My brief death at the age of 19 while in a drunk driving wreck may have something to do with my qualifications.  I might have visited God at this time, but had no recollection of anything when I came to in the hospital.
     As a result of being raised by an abusive father, I developed serious demonic strongholds, enough so to start affecting behavior.  I don't know the correlation between how many demons are required to do what, affect our thoughts, cause us to sin, control our behavior, etc. but I may have accumulated thousands, several hundred anyway.  I've had much experiential knowledge of the afflictions suffered by humanity.
   At the age of 16 when I left home, I had the better part of an associates education in liberal arts.  I obtained much more education in a variety of areas later on in life.  Jesus seems to think I'm good at figuring things out.
     I've studied my Bible most of my life and been a thinker.  When I hear a pastor say something wrong, I don't go along with it like most of the unthinking sheep being led to slaughter.  For instance the baptist preacher at the church I raised my kids in made the statement, "Once saved, always saved," at a funeral and I thought, "That's not what the Bible says."  The same pastor would wave his Bible during service and say it's the inerrant, infallible word of God.  I hear that a lot, but don't see it put into practice or taught by the pastors making the claim.   Jesus and God the Father must like my thinking and feel it's correct.
     I was given a fascination with Dr. Keyton's work on spiritual warfare though to most it's heavy and dry.  I am an expert on the actual spiritual warfare going on around us, while most pastors believe the lie, "A christian can't have a demon."  To my thinking their sermons follow this level of understanding.  Locally, at the Torch in Demorest, those guys know how to get the real meaning out of their Bibles and the music is heavenly.  Try it out if you're looking for a real church where Jesus is welcome.
     I'm baptized in the Spirit which only a small percentage of the population has experienced, one source suggests about 4 %.  I want to emphasize again that this isn't necessary to be saved.  All believers get something like a sip of the Spirit when they come to believe, while we who experience the baptism take a dip in the pool.  We are the only people who are able, for some strange unexplainable spiritual reason to understand the Bible as it should be understood to qualify us to teach it.  It tells us that, but entire organizations may not have anybody in them who can understand the verse that says you must be in the Spirit to understand things of the Spirit.  I fear many well intentioned pastors are unknowingly leading people astray and will be held accountable.  How many people does one get to lead to hell before being required to join them?
         A few years ago I offered to do anything for Him, up to death if He would just fix me.  It just dawned on me that I seem to be cured of obsessive disorder.  I think I may be whole now.
     Very importantly, I had a big send off.  I was attending a charismatic mega church where gifts of the Spirit are welcome.  I couldn't understand it, but I was up front one service and hugged my Bible the whole worship service with tears streaming down my face.  A lot of connected people prayed for me then including my lady mentor who was on her knees the whole time.  There was another incident at a large men's group here, where I couldn't stop trembling and 20 or so connected men laid hands on me and prayed.  Also at this church, on one occasion, men were lined up and women came through the line on either side of us holding our hands and praying for a breakthrough for us.  Something spiritual happens with touch.  I kept my eyes closed to keep from having impure thoughts about attractive women holding my hands, tears streamed the whole time and almost every woman gave my hand a good tight squeeze which felt special.  There were a couple hundred connected women praying for me during this event.  I think the combination of my life experiences makes me quite rare.
     Going through the ordeal of making the breakthrough, I couldn't understand why my gifts weren't turned back on but I suspect that was part of the deal Jesus made with the Father to relent on sending the entire baptist organization to hell with all members who abused their lie from satan as a license to sin.  I'll state here again that many members, although they may be under the delusion, aren't under condemnation unless they were abusing the policy, "We believe the saints will persevere in grace and not finally fall away."  In layman's terms, "Once saved, always saved."

In his service, a Misfit Child of God